NCTM Annual, San Diego

I recently read Dare to Lead with #ClearTheAir and one part of the process was to identify your values. Mine are community and making a difference. I've found it really helpful to remind myself of my values regularly as I navigate choices, and that was definitely true at NCTM last week.

I wore many different hats throughout the week. I moved fluidly between Tina the IM employee, @crstn85, Tina the Publishing Committee Chair, friend, parent, and author of Nix the Tricks. During my time in San Diego I alternated between catching up with people and attending sessions, because I was alternating between community (building and maintaining relationships) and making a difference (sharing my expertise or learning things that would help build my expertise for when I implement later). I chose what sessions I attended strategically and often attended with others. There's something to be said for the divide and conquer model, but my values don't include conquering, so sometimes I got to build community and learn simultaneously! No matter what part of the conference I was navigating, I was conscious of how to maximize my precious time to live my values to the best of my ability. Maximizing my time doesn't mean doing as many things as possible, sometimes it means sitting on the floor playing shape sort with a toddler. Because I want that toddler to be part of my community (her parents are spectacular people).

The hat that was hardest to wear is the one that's replaced the hat that is no longer mine to wear, my new identity as former TMC organizer. It's been a difficult transition. In January I was fully involved, knew exactly what was going on, and felt confident that I was both building community and making a difference. Even if it felt like a lot of effort, it was effort that clearly aligned to my values. Now I'm disconnected and have no idea if anything is even going on. The silence is deafening. Did anything that I was building toward survive? It was entirely unclear. But then I went to NCTM and heard some whispers. People who read what happened and said they were moving from talk to action in their organization. I'd love people to move from whispers to shouts. The Southeast Math Summit is finding their voice, who else will join in?

Since I no longer have TMC organizing to do, I am shifting my focus toward NCTM as a community where I could make a difference. Let's be like Dr. Robert Berry and ask NCTM how it's doing. NCTM is truly wonderful and getting better, of course!

Truly wonderful:

• the conference is a physical space where all of my math ed friends gather, since it's so large friends from several circles (and countries!) end up in the same space
• a large organization can invite high profile speakers, we had 3 fantastic keynote speakers this year
• there were many important ideas being shared in the space, I mostly stuck to the equity sessions but even when I ventured outside of that strand people were incorporating equity into their other sessions

Getting better:

• the conference feels like a 3 day event where I see people from other circles, as opposed to a community in and of itself
• there was nothing at this conference to encourage me to be an active member of the organization outside of "come to Chicago" which is an entire year away
• I happen to be an active member, this is my 3rd year on a committee, but I'm still trying to figure out how the inner workings of the organization function
• I spent a lot of time explaining what I do know of those inner workings, without a clear way to help others learn more or get involved

As always, people who have rejuvenated their connections are engaging in conversation on twitter. I invite you to join us as we brainstorm how the NCTM of the future could be even more truly wonderful. If you have any examples from your other communities about how to address issues, especially issues of equity, please share!